I love my friends dearly, which is why it's okay when they poke fun at me for romanticizing things. Or do I?
My friends in Dubai, all guys, mostly keep asking me where I find so much to talk about. I think it’s pretty simple, I just remember everything. So I might see an object that reminds me of an incident that reminds me of a person that propels me into some question that evokes another memory and it goes on. That’s what thinking is, isn’t it? And I don’t like to keep my thoughts to myself, especially when I’m surrounded by people who care about me and care enough to listen with one ear and nod while I’m yapping excitedly about something. Anyway, back to what we were talking about, remembering, or romanticizing?
Well, I did tell a friend that I remember everything and he was a bit surprised. Everything? Everything! I told him how I even remember the first time I met him, or I met anyone. I was reciting how and where I met everybody in our group - in a coffee shop, at home while visiting, during an alumni party. Well, he just thought I was ridiculous because his memory was apparently as big as peanuts. I won’t say “guys…”, but in my heart I know I’m saying it.
Which is why he commented that reading a lot tends to make me romanticize a lot of things. And true, I have recently been on a Murakami bandwagon, and I am all in for sober, impassionate, slightly plain on the surface, deep enough to drown, romanticism. Honestly, his writing style met a lot of my writing style, albeit the one that I use in my diary. Ahem.
So in my romantic mind, I do find the memories of meeting someone for the first time significant. I like to remember what I felt and thought when I saw them, what I felt and thought when I looked them in the eyes. I like the memory of how I was feeling when I was talking to them, laughing with them (fortunately I haven’t yet met anyone the first time while I was crying). I like to paint a picture in my mind, of the setting, of the environment, everything. And most importantly I remember how I felt once I said goodbye to them.
It is significant somehow, to me, because generally as your relationships with people grow, you tend to forget the initial and the middle parts. The recency effect is in full power and you remember the last days or last weeks with a person. For me at least, remembering how I first met someone, especially over years and years, just makes me feel closer to them. I met up with a friend recently in Dubai, and I’ve been friends with him since my first month of undergrad, so over 10 years, and I still remember the first “hi”. It’s funny because I barely get to meet him now, with the both of us being at different places all the time, but every time someone says his name, I remember the exact moment that I met him. I visualize him exactly the way I saw him for the first time, standing in front of the lecture halls waiting for me to come out of class.
I don’t know if I romanticize the details of my life, but I like being this detailed about memories. It somehow feels like I’m painting a picture in my mind. Like I’m writing parallel books in my head, describing every little wrinkle, smile, nod, the way they walk and talk and the words they use. So, in a way, maybe it is because I am kinda, sorta, constantly writing a book about everybody (in my head) that I remember everything. Now only issue is how the fudge do I monetize it!
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